“Like all science, Psychology is knowledge; and like Science again, it is knowledge of a definite thing, the mind.” — James Mark Baldwin.
The brain is capable of doing astonishing things; it made Man land on the moon, invented computers, and so on and so forth. Likewise, it is the power of the brain which makes us capable of fitting into a certain context. Today, there are tips on which you can depend to tweak some of your surroundings’ weaknesses, and develop social skills; I do not wish to call these tips a manipulation, but it is more of a subtle way to sharpen your brains’ skills. Having said that, you might want to give it a try and notice the results.
These hacks are gathered from a thread on /r/askreddit.
1. When you first meet people, try to notice their eyes colour while smiling at them. It may be that you look for a second or two longer, yet it is assured that people really respond to it in a positive manner.
2. Asking someone to do you a small favour trains their brain to believe they like you.
3. Foot-in-the-door phenomenon: people are more likely to agree to do a task for you if you ask them to do something simpler first (Gradual commitment makes people think you like them). Alternatively, you ask them to do an unreasonable task and they’ll say no. Perhaps then you should ask for a more reasonable task and they will be more likely to agree.
4. Remembering Names; if you can get into the habit of not only remembering someone’s name when you first meet them but using their name in the upcoming conversation you have, they’ll find you terribly charming and wonderful.
5. When laughter breaks out in a group of people, each one will instinctively glance at whichever other individuals they feel closest to in that group. Hence, you can spot who is closer to whom in the group.
6. Chew gum when you’re approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping. If we are ‘eating’ something, our brain trips and it reasons, “I would not be eating if I were in danger. So I’m not in danger.’’
7. People’s feet are often an insight into what they’re thinking. If you approach two people talking, for instance, and they turn their torso to you but not their feet, they’d prefer you to leave them alone. Likewise, if you’re talking to someone and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, it is a sign that they want the conversation to end.
8. Use the power of silence if someone gives you an unsatisfactory answer to a question; stay quiet and keep eye contact and they’ll feel pressured to keep talking and reveal more.
9. Change your psychological state before an interview or important meeting by telling yourself, “We’re old friends catching up. I can’t wait to see them.’’ Visualise the experience of shaking hands, making eye contact, and having a helluva smooth conversation. Imagine how eager you want to tell them about certain things you know. Hold an open pose, stand with your legs apart, hands on your hips, and shoulders back while doing this and SMILE. This may sound cliche, but you are in charge of your own psychological state and the power of suggestion is strong.
10. The best way to learn is to teach; thus, if you’re acquiring a new skill or piece of knowledge, try to pass it on to someone else with it at the first opportunity you get. It will be engraved in your brain.
11. People will remember not what you said but how you made them feel. Most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them. It is preferable that you ask the ‘why’ questions as they provide more freedom and an in-depth answer to the person you ask.
12. Refer to people you’ve just met by their name. People love being referred to by their name, and it will establish a bridge of trust that they can cross, hence friendship. Say your friend introduced you to Jacob. After 5 minutes he decides to leave. Don’t just say, “bye!” Instead, opt for, “Bye, Jacob!”
13. Mirroring people’s body language when you interact with them is a way of building up trust. You should, however, be cautious about it.
14. False attribution of arousal. When you take somebody out on a first date, take them somewhere exciting that will get their heart beating such as a roller coaster or horror film. This gets their adrenaline up. It makes them think they enjoy spending time with you rather than the activity.
15. If you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier. Smile — for the world needs more of our smiles!
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